Apple and iTunes offer free candy to children

Riding high from the reception of their free U2 album download promotion, Apple is offering all of its younger iTunes listeners a very sweet deal: free candy from a van!

Today, in a surprise move, Apple announced that they will be sending thousands of white vans to elementary schools and playgrounds throughout the country to offer free candy to any child who has parents with an iTunes account.

Apple spokesperson Nat Reale said, “To keep from causing a big commotion, the iTunes candy vans will be unmarked, white vehicles, driven by inconspicuous looking people.” To determine if kids have an iTunes account, the van operator will ask them to come over to the van to answer some questions. If everything checks out and their iTunes usage is verified, they get to enter the van and get the candy.

Mr. Reale verified that children will only be able to enter the van with their parents’ permission, which is part of the licensing agreement every iTunes user signs when downloading or updating the latest iTunes software. Reale pointed out that it will help children relax when they hear the words, “Don’t worry, your parents told me that it’s ok for you to have this candy.”

When asked if all iTunes using children had to take the free candy, the spokesperson said, “They don’t have to get in the van if they don’t want to. However, for kids who don’t want candy, we’ve got U2 CDs we can give them instead…because we know that’s what people want and that’s what everyone is going to get.”

No word yet on consumer reception of the free candy from a van idea, but it will most likely be lauded as another visionary move by one of the world’s most innovative companies.

(Editors Note: Some parts of this report may not be accurate, especially the part about everyone wanting the U2 download.)


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One Response to Apple and iTunes offer free candy to children

  1. Tim October 16, 2014 at 10:25 am #

    White vans, because they don’t yet come in black? Will we have to wait for iVan 2.0 before they drive black, red or other colored vans??

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