I saw an eye socket sized hole in the wall. The angel told me to match my eye to the hole and look. “See what they are doing.”
I knelt and gazed through the eye shaped hole. I saw a man through the eye shaped whole.
He stood before me as I knelt behind the wall between us. I could see his face, as if it where before me. But I was kneeling and he was standing, stone faced, upright, facing the wall between us.
My hand reached through my eye, reached through the eye socket hole, through the wall, through the divide, into the man’s inner chamber. My hand reached from my eye, through the hole, and my body followed until I was behind the man, staring at the man, as he stared at the wall.
The wall was full of curses. The curses where pictures and the pictures where stories and the stories where about beasts, snakes, traps, and snares. The stories where curses and the beasts were words in animal form.
The man stared at the wall, the stories, the beasts, and the curses. But he no longer read the stories, he no longer studied the beasts. Instead, he looked beyond the curses. They were but a window.
A saw this man, gazing at the wall, through the wall, as a window. He did not notice me. For I could not be found within the wall or within the curses.
The angel spoke. “Can you see what he sees?”
I said, “Yes, I see the wall, I see the beasts, I see the stories, and I see the curses.”
The angel spoke again. “But can you see what he sees?”
I replied, “Yes, I see the curses!”
Then the angel rebuked me, “Then you see nothing! The curses are but a window. The curses are an eye shaped hole.”
“Well then I cannot see what he sees. And I will not see what he sees. For I will not study the curses. I will not look through that window.”
The angels wing rested on my slumping shoulder. “Then you cannot see, you will not see, and you will never know.”
I looked up and away from the man, and I turned towards my winged guide. But I did not seek his face. Instead I closed my eyes and nestled my head against his chest.
“Then why bring me here? Why would you show me this room and this man? What is the good in this? Why bring me to a place where I cannot see, where I cannot understand.” I began to weep and pull inward.
The angels voice deepened and rumbled. His voice rumbled like time, wind, and endless ocean. “You do not see. . . and you do not understand.” Wave after wave after wave rushed over me. . . “So you do not see and you do not understand.” Breeze between the leaves breeze within the canyon, wind over endless crest. “So you do not see. . . and you do not understand.” Cocooned within timeless words, limited beneath the angels breath. . . “You do not see and you do not understand. You do not see and you do not understand.”
I looked up towards the angels face. But I did not see form. Instead I saw glory reaching upward, glory reaching to the heavens, glory as a pathway to my home.
As I looked upward, I spoke to the glory, “Why do you comfort me with these words? And why do these words comfort me?”
And the glory spoke to me, in me, and through me. . . “I AM and I WILL BE, I WILL BE and I AM! And I know! I know my child! I actually know! I see beyond the curses, I see beyond the window, I see beyond the walls, and I know. You are my child, and I know. Look to me my child. Not the man, not the wall, not the curses, not the window. Look to me for I know and I AM and I will be forever yours.
The vision departed and I found myself in front of a tree. The fruit was ripe and pleasing to the eye. But I could no longer find reason to take and eat.
So I turned and walked away. As sure as I am fully known.