Apple Introduces iCompound. . .

The following is a press release that appears to be from Apple.  Looks like Apple is once again transforming the face of technology.

“Apple is proud to announce a revolutionary advancement in the way you experience your Apple products.  Drawing upon the success of our Apple Stores, we are proud to introduce an Apple endeavor that will permanently change the way you do everything.

Introducing iCompound.  iCompound is not a product, it’s a way of life.  iCompound is similar to existing Apple stores in that every iCompound has the latest Apple products, gadgets, and accessories.  However, once you enter an iCompound, you can do more than just buy the latest iPhone or iPad, you can actually live there.

That’s right, every iCompound is large enough to house all of our amazing products and to house all of our amazing customers.

Once you’ve entered an iCompound, you won’t want to leave.  We’re so confident you won’t want to leave, we guarantee it.

At the iCompound, you’ll be able to experience Apple products in the way they were meant to be experienced.  Surrounded by people who think, look, and act the same as you.  And if you’re having trouble assimilating, we will help you.

At iCompound, we provide every new visitor or iPerson the ultimate gift.  We give you continual access to Steve Jobs.  And we give Steve Jobs continual access to you.  This means Steve Jobs can help you in every area of your life.  From recommending apps to picking out the names of your children, Steve Jobs will be there to assist you.

No longer will you have to determine when to upgrade your iPhone.  Steve Jobs will do it for you.  No longer do you have to determine when to eat, shower, or pray.  Steve Jobs will lead you.  iCompound is the gift of Apple immersion.  It’s not a cult, it’s an iCommunity.

For more information please feel free to wait in line for our first iCompound opening.  The first 500,000 visitors receive a free robe and hair cut.

iCompound, simply the next step.”

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