My Delusion or God’s Dream?

Lately I’ve been wrestling with a dream, a God-given dream I cannot shake. Or maybe it’s not a dream, maybe it’s an unrealistic expectation or an overactive imagination. Maybe it’s my dream, not God’s?

No! It’s a God given dream! It must be His dream, the kind of dream that requires faith for outcomes not yet seen, and hope for doors not yet opened. Yes, it must be one of those God-breathed, Spirit-led, miracle confirmed visions that has captured my attention. It’s a God-birthed dream I am wrestling with and contending for. . . Or is it? Maybe it’s just an escape from the realities of living?

Who gave me this dream? Is it the product of fanciful, bi-polarish, mystical thinking? Or. . . did God deposit this dream deep within me, so deep I will never shake it? Please help me answer this question, unless your answer doesn’t sit right. If your answer won’t sit right with me, then please refrain from responding. Unless I really need to hear the truth you are speaking. If you are speaking truth, then please speak up. . . Then again, maybe not. Maybe you can’t understand, or won’t understand or maybe I don’t need you to understand for me to be ok.

So what I’m saying. . . what am I saying? I’m saying I need someone to help me understand this dream. No, I’m saying I need more than understanding, I need direction, I need help, I need others to breathe life into this mysterious compulsion that complicates my daily existence. Or maybe not, maybe I need you to leave me alone with my windmill chasing fantasy. Maybe I need you to allow this foolish pursuit to continue, to allow me to pursue the endless dream without the need to defend or waiver.

Many times I’ve tried to talk myself out of this foolish conviction. I’ve tried to stand from a perspective void of God-breathed dreams. Many times I’ve tried and many times I’ve failed. You see, I just can’t shake the dream. Regardless of all the signs I see and experience on a daily basis, I cannot escape the confidence that God is leading me to a destination I’ve never seen.

Dream Led. . .

Dream woke me up this morning. Dream said, “Better follow me today.”

I said “Why?”
Dream paused and smiled, “You know why Doug. I made you, I formed you, you are hopelessly mine.”

I said to dream, “Are you God?”

Dream grabbed my hand and led me forward, “No Doug, I am not God. . . but I am the breath of God. But you already knew that.”

So dream and I are wandering the earth today, looking to partner with other emanations of the breath of God.

The Beginning of a Dream

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11 Responses to My Delusion or God’s Dream?

  1. G'sSWEETDEE May 9, 2013 at 6:46 pm #

    Reblogged this on G'sSWEETDEE and commented:
    Wow that was BEAUTIFUL!!! When GOD speaks to OUR soul it leaves US in such AWE and left with so many unanswered questions. ALL I can say is SEEK and SEEK with ALL YOUR HEART!!!

  2. jodyo70 May 10, 2013 at 12:27 am #

    Doug, I wasn’t sure what the dream was–‘build an orphanage’? ‘start a band’? But you shared what the real dream is–to walk in the power of His Spirit daily. God, may it be so!

    • fairlyspiritual May 10, 2013 at 12:34 am #

      Yep, I purposely didn’t share the dream…instead I shared the struggle that accompanies pursuing such dreams. Sometimes it feels certain, other times it feels fleeting. Regardless, it is lived out by faith. Thanks for reading.

      • Kamini. December 31, 2014 at 6:08 am #

        I know how you feel….no matter what I do or decide this dream pulls me back like gravity. I have hopeful days and dark days. I know it’s from God but some days I feel I’m going mad.

  3. Sabrina & Steve Woodard May 10, 2013 at 2:03 am #

    Doug, we would be happy to walk with you along this journey! The spirit filled walk of love. To partner with you and the Holy Spirit. Daily struggles yes, I too have those, anyone who says they didn’t would be fantasizing a perfect world in which none of us live in. One thing I am certain of, God’s love. Walking out our faith is not always easy, especially in those bi-polar moments (of which I can say I have as well), but if we have others to walk it out with, to partner with, it isn’t so lonely. Of course, God is always there and the Holy Spirit but it’s always nice to have human companions too =)

    • fairlyspiritual May 10, 2013 at 3:17 am #

      Good word and yes you are walking alongside me. I so much appreciate both of you in your honest and willingness to be all in.

  4. Sabrina & Steve Woodard May 10, 2013 at 2:04 am #

    Sabrina =)

  5. Gina May 10, 2013 at 2:58 am #

    Doug,
    It is very interesting that I should hear your talk show today. It’s the first time that I’ve heard it. I am going through a transition in my life that I know, that I know, I’m destined to experience. Your thoughts seemed to flow from my very own spirit, perhaps because we share the same spirit. Faith absolutely requires you to believe something you have no natural proof of. I remind myself that God is not a man that He shall lie and that His understanding is not my understanding. I too am pursuing a radical dream that doesn’t make sense to the natural mind. God knows the end from the beginning and He has shown me that end, through a dream. “Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen”. You were designed to walk supernaturally, stay in faith my brother. You have engaged me to do the same. Blessings, – Gina

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